What Makes A Great Bedtime Routine?
Why is a bedtime routine so important?
Our little ones thrive on consistency - it allows them to anticipate what happens next. A predictable bedtime and nap routine helps them understand when it’s time to sleep, often improving overnight sleep. It also provides a chance for undivided attention and quality time after a busy day. Your routine doesn’t need to be elaborate—just keep it consistent: same order, place, and time. Your nap routine can be a shorter version of your bedtime routine.
When should you introduce a consistent bedtime routine?
It's never too early to start, even from Day 1. However, if the early months feel too overwhelming, begin when you feel ready. It’s also never too late to start. Whether you have a baby or a toddler, consider what you both enjoy and build from there. 💪🏼
What time should my little one go to bed?
Timing your little one’s bedtime right is a first important step to making it a smooth affair. An overtired or undertired child will struggle to fall asleep. The general rule is ~12 hours after wake-up, but if they had an extra early wake-up or a bad nap day, an earlier bedtime can avoid overtiredness.
Helpful routine elements:
Aim for +/- 30 minutes, or a bit longer, if your little one is taking a bath.
Avoid screens for 90-120 mins before bedtime as they’ll suppress the production of melatonin.
Make it enjoyable for your little with cuddles, reading a story, massage, lullabies.
Encourage a full feeding if the majority of the calories still comes from milk
Offer age-appropriate choices, eg. which pajamas to wear or which book to read
“Drowsy but awake” - what if it doesn’t work?
The “lay them down drowsy but awake” tip can work well until babies become more aware of their surroundings. If your little one resists, you have a few options:
There’s no shame in rocking, nursing, supporting them to sleep - as long as it works for you.
Gradually teach your child to fall asleep independently by doing a little less each day or moving sleep associations to the beginning of the routine. This might take a few weeks or months.
Consider sleep training for structured, age-appropriate ways to break or alter sleep associations faster.
“One more book please”
Toddlers and older children often use stalling techniques like asking for another book or water, not because they dislike sleep, but because they dislike separating from you. A few ideas to foster connection and make it easier for them:
Slow down and offer reassurance while maintaining boundaries. For example: I’m always here for a long hug, but we stick to the agreed number of books.
Role-play during the day, showing your child what you do once they’re in bed.
Offer a “Mum / Dad button”. When pressed, it plays a pre-recorded message from you, providing comfort and reassurance.
While you’ll hear me preach about consistency and connection when it comes to bedtime routines, your rituals will likely evolve as your child gets older - that’s okay and actually wanted. I try not to introduce too many changes at once, but it doesn’t hurt to try something new if your child seems curious or interested. Sleep tight!
